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So, visit 6 is where I have to start thinking about goals. What do I want? What needs to change? When everything is a miasma of emotional blubbering, heavy-headed-ness and recurring disgusting dreams about trauma, goals seem like a distraction from the plan of, "I want to be able to hold my head in a position above my neck and not scream at random people".

On the bus ride home, I fished out the yellow legal pad of truth (which is where I'm writing down my session notes and subjects for the following week), I started writing down my problems as I understood them under the heading of Goals. I was working for a good ten minutes before it hit me that I was writing Problems, not Goals. It was just me hammering home the shit I already know. The hypothetical, theoretical version of me that doesn't have these issues? I can't even imagine them.


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