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10-hour days, the reemergence of winter and the 10 pounds I gained from the boots/extra layers for working outside. I've barely had time to think of myself, or any sort of life outside work, probably becaus I'm too exhausted for it.

Then again, there's the usual problem of doing it. Since the nightmare one-night stand, I've had to resign myself to the fact that a relationship is out of the question for me right now. I'm not well, my emotions are unstable and my priorities are misplaced. The joy appears to have been bleed from other things that I would have done before - going to a bar, meeting up with some friends. Even art in the museums just leaves me blank. I'm going through motions.


A pal in the comedy scene invited me over for a birthday dinner tonight. Because my boss doesn't understand time management, I won't be done with work until 7. I'll get to show up unwashed, in clunky boots, and smelling of dogs. If I go home to change, I'll fall right into bed and not want to go out again. I need to feel human for a night, no matter how disgusting I may feel or be.

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