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I don't know if I'm doing this right

Assignment for this week: what does a healthy relationship with myself look like? What goes into that?
Perhaps buying groceries for the first time in two or three weeks. Ugh.
Maybe looking in the mirror and feeling less disgust than pride. Woof.
Or possibly not taking it personally when a conversation at a party peters out and dies. Congrats, you're boring and strange, please stay away from the table of food.

The ride to work last week. Woman sits down next to me, starts rolling her cigarettes. She's got a whole system — filters, papers, and tobacco in separate bags; the roll is controlled and the perfect medium between tight and loose; and she even manages to get the little filters to stay in. I've never seen someone do that without one of those little machines. For a brief moment, I remember when I finally mastered rolling my own cigarettes, when I thought joining women for smoke breaks outside the bar was a good idea.
I get up, scooch past her for my stop — then reconsider, and wave at her. She takes her headphones out. I tell her, "I just wanted to say, that was some nice rolling. I could never do it that well."
She shrugs, a sheepish smile. "Too much practice, unfortunately."
I shrug, smile, move to the door.


All I was thinking was pay a compliment. Do it about something that doesn't involve her looks — don't expect anything back, don't pretend this is more than words on a train.

I don't know if I'm doing this right.

Going to the grocery store this evening, there are sidewalk chalk messages on the entire front block of the Aldi's. Someone apparently got catcalled one time too many, and decided to send a message without the danger that could come in direct confrontation. The hashtag, #wewillhollaback
I don't know if I'm doing this right.


I think a healthy relationship with myself is when any good habits I can make are an unconscious process and I don't have to keep reminding myself to treat me better.
I don't think I'm doing this right.

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